Like in the famous movie « The bucket list », you sometimes feel that the life goes fast and that you are forgetting dreams you had when you were young. A lifelist consist of things you really want to do before you die.
Thanks to Julien and his website «« , people who know me know how I like this concept.
I had this discussion with some travelers: Is my list missing something deeper?
When we talk toogether, we all want to do world tours, see the 7 wonders of the world, go to Australia… That’s cool and realising dreams I have had for years makes me happy.
I used to think it was almost impossible to do all these things and I realise today that it is not so difficult.
Yet, I also realise that a list of countries to visit and places to see is not enough.
Let me tell you about a famous study by Bronnie Ware.
B.W did a really interesting study while she was working as a nurse in a palliative service in Australia. During 10 years, she spend a lot of time talking to her patients, for most of them, it was the lasts weeks of their life and they knew it. She published the book « The top 5 regrets of dying: A life transformed by the dearly departing », where she writes about regrets her patients had before dying.
The result is a little bit scary: 95% do have regrets at the end of their life.
Here is the top 5 regrets of people before dying, my thoughts about it and tips to make our list better.
1) »I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. »
This is the primary regret off all. Social pressure is still really important today.
Yesterday, my friend who used to live abroad told me: « Now I’m back in France and I can feel that according to people, it is strange not to have a boyfriend and a « normal » job when you are 26″.
On the opposite side, lots of travelers think that guetting married before 30 is just crazy.
But what is normal?
I think that normal should be about what YOU really want to do.
So maybe ask yourself: what do I really want to do with my life?
And complete your list.
2) »I wish I didn’t work so hard »
A friend of mine told me last year: « I hate my job but I’m lazy to find something else. I think I’m gonna keep it and try to enjoy my life focusing on my free time ». He was 23. It is impossible not to have regrets in such a condition. Remember that the average is to work 8h a day, so almost 33% of your life time. As well, if your are not insomniac, you will spend 33% of your lifetime sleeping.
Do you really want to « try » to enjoy your life based on your 33% left? Don’t try, it is not possible.
I think that it is the first point we all should have on our list:
– Finding a job that I like
Maybe you can find a job wich is also your passion. It is hard I know, but if you do find this job, you will never have regrets about working hard.
« Working hard for something you don’t care about is called stress, working hard for something you like is called passion »
I like this quote.
3) »I wish I had the courage to express my feelings »
This is one of the hardest thing to do in life. So many people are keeping there feelings, good and bad, to themselves.
Is it so difficult to express your love to the people you love and tell what you really think to the people who annoy you? Yes, it is.
Fortunately, there are some really interesting authors who write a lot of books to help us and other things we can do:
– Read 2 books about emotionnal intelligence from Daniel Golman.
– Being able to communicate with this neighbourg I hate.
– Being able to let myself crying sometimes.
These are a few examples of points you could add to your lifelist. But you can now find a lot more by yourself I guess.
By the way, all the healers I met agree: keeping emotions to yourself is one of the best way to get deseases.
4) »I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends »
I thought that Australian people were superficial when I was there. One day, when I had the time, I wanted to improve my english and above all, try to understand them more. So I asked this question to 100 Australians in a shopping center: what makes you happy in your life?
I was expecting more « beers » and « surf » or « shoes » in their answers. But the 2 most populars answers were similar to the answers I got from people of other nationalities.
Here are the 2 most popular and « universal » anwers: Family and Friends.
The conclusion is easy: It is true that hapiness comes from the inside, but having people around us to share it makes it so much better.
When you travel or in your daily life, the quality of your socials links have great importance to your life’s quality.
Here are some examples we can add to our list:
– Invest more time in socials activities and stop playing playstation ;
– Offer presents to friends I really care about for their birthday ;
– Organising one party or dinner every 3 months with my friends ;
– Dare to contact your old friends to have a beer together.
The list can be very long. Friendship is something we have to cultivate, it makes us happy and we all agree that hapiness is what we are all looking for.
5) »I wish I had let myself be happier »
Thanks to traveling, I discovered new feelings I had never experienced before.
For example, I experienced the horrible sensation to be sick and far away from my country.
But I also experienced the unforgettable feeling of hapiness and freedom when I was in a paradisiac island with friends or when I was watching the sunset with shinning eyes fulled of gratitude.
I believe that these amazing memories will make me grateful when I will think about it on my bed before dying.